Confession time: I do not attend a church regularly.
Yes, you did read that right. I, Suzy, am not a member of a one specific church, and only visit one about two to three times a month.
Crazy, right? But it’s true, and very discouraging.
I feel a lack of my faith by not being part of a worshiping community regularly. I go to a homeschool co-op, and all my friends there attend pretty much every event or fellowship their church has.
But not me.
I’m home alone pretty often, as my family’s in a small financial crunch at the moment, and everyone except me works almost every day. Including Sunday.
The church I visit is an hour away from my house, but it’s the closest one that matches my family’s theology. We go to the morning service on Sundays when we can, but no more than that. Never Sunday school, never youth group, never retreats or potlucks.
It’s a little hard to bear sometimes, as a couple years ago we left a church I’ve been a part of for most of my life. I’d grown up there, knowing practically everybody there by name. It was a small church-only around 200 people at most-so if there was an event, almost everybody took part. It was a great community and had nice people.
Somewhere along the way, either my family or the pastor changed sight of how the Word should be taught, and we had to leave. This was the very year I’d first become part of their youth group. It was an awesome group, with yearly mission trips and fundraisers, game nights, amazing leaders and youth pastors, very encouraging teaching, and just overall some of the best people to be around. My four older siblings all gotten to experience that through their entire junior high and highschool lives.
But I didn’t.
I’m just little ol’ me, sitting at home and wondering what to do with my life. 😛 I try my best to watch recordings of sermons online and read a couple Christian books and study them (I personally really enjoy Saved Without a Doubt by John Macarthur and Do Hard Things by Alex and Brett Harris), but it’s not easy when you aren’t regularly meeting with fellow Christians to talk about His Word.
It’s not exactly something I can control, as I’m sure my parents don’t like it just as much as I do, but I still feel like I’m not strong enough in my faith because of this. I don’t feel adequate for God, and at times, I wonder if I’m a Christian at all.
This problem has been troubling me for some time now, but a couple weeks ago the pastor we’ve been visiting said something that really spoke to me.
It’s not the quality of your faith that matters. It’s whether you have any faith at all.
This encourages me so much. I still try my best to study the Lord’s Word, even if it’s infrequent. I still praise my Savior and think of Him when I’m troubled. I still believe He died for my sins.
And to be honest, that’s all you really need. Yes, it’s important to go to church, worship with other believers, and hear the Bible being preached, but it’s not necessary. It’s not about how much you believe in God that makes you a Christian or sends you to Heaven. It’s about if you really believe in Him in the first place.
I just thought this was so uplifting, and really wanted to share it with you. Because if there’s anyone out there in a tough spot like me, just try to remember this and it’ll all turn out for His good in the end. 🙂
He has a plan, and it’s our job to believe in it.
– suzy –
Jesus replied, “Truly I tell you, if you have faith and do not doubt, not only can you do what was done to the fig tree, but also you can say to this mountain, ‘Go, throw yourself into the sea,’ and it will be done. -Matthew 21:21